Halloweenies
by AMZ-C-Raven
Summary: A Halloween treat for everybody! The Titans are invited to a Halloween party, and some interesting costume ideas surface.


**I wrote this while taking a break from a really annoying Shakespeare paper I'm working on. I'd been surrounded by a lot of negative energy lately, so I wanted to take a little time out and write something upbeat and humorous. I had a _lot_ of fun writing this. The Titans' personalities make for some excellent chemistry. They can play off of each other so well!  
**

**There's a really big Titans "behind-the-scenes" in-joke in here, and a cookie for the person who spots it! I'll reveal it in the next exciting chapter of "Revenge." Hehehe, I couldn't resist that plug :D! Or, hey, I'll just let you know if you ask, that's cool too. Here's a hint: It involves one of the Titans' voice actors.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Teen Titans. Not even on Halloween. **

**Until next time... HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY! May the Great Pumpkin bring you plenty of presents!**

HALLOWEENIES

Beast Boy and Cyborg had been staring at each other for almost ten minutes now, slowly chewing and picking at their breakfasts, not saying a word. The rest of the Titans occasionally exchanged glances of their own, gesturing in as subtle a manner as possible in the direction of their not-quite-sane friends.

Finally, the shapeshifter spoke. "So what're you going as this year?"

Cyborg snorted. "Not telling. What are you going as this year?"

"Not telling." came Beast Boy's retort, flicking a piece of tofu with his fork that Cyborg dodged easily.

The duo shut up once again, eyeing each other carefully.

The changeling smirked. "So, it would appear we have a deadlock."

"It would appear so." retorted Cy, quickly snapping a piece of scrambled egg in his foe's direction. B.B. avoided the oncoming projectile, which in turn splattered on Raven's leoatrd. The two stared in horror at the results.

"Oh for God's sake, you two! Knock it off! Who cares?" blurted Raven, raising her arms in frustration and disgust. She almost spilled her tea in the process. Grabbing a napkin, she began to wipe the egg off of her clothes, muttering under her breath and consciously trying not to kill anybody.

Beast Boy looked as if he'd been slapped. "I can't believe you said that! The annual Heroes In Costumes Halloween Party is tonight and you ask, 'who cares?' Everybody cares! I've been planning my costume for MONTHS, dude!"

"So what're you going as?" shot Cyborg, hoping for a slip-up.

The changling glanced at his friend from the corner of his eye. "Fat chance." He turned again to the empath. "You're telling me this doesn't matter to you?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Um... no. It doesn't. At all. I don't even think I'm going this year."

There was a loud clatter as both Cyborg and Beast Boy dropped their forks onto the table simultaneously.

"Not... going..." mumbled Beast Boy, a disoriented look in his eyes.

"How can... you can't not go!" exclaimed Cyborg.

"Just watch me."

A worried look over came Starfire. "Raven, you are my friend... and you are often locked up in your room reflecting on subjects that I admit I find... depressing. I think an evening such as this one, where evil spirits and creatures torn from popular culture abound, would be the ideal setting for you to come out and have a pleasant time."

Raven gave a lopsided grin. "I admit I do like Samhain. I like the idea of All Hallow's Eve. But this... commercialized, eat-candy-and-dress-up-like-cartoon-characters version of the holiday isn't something I'm comfortable with."

"I respect that, I do. But I think tonight would be an excellent chance for us to get out as a group and unwind. You should come." offered Robin.

"Raven! If you don't come, who'll I play pin the tail on the green donkey with?" asked Cyborg, grinning. The subject in question made a face in the half-robot's direction.

The cloaked girl allowed herself a smile. "That does sound tempting. But you guys know me. I just don't do parties."

Glum faces overcame her teammates. Beast Boy stared at his plate, unmoving. Starfire began picking at a random blob of food before her, rolling it over and over and over again. Even Robin looked depressed with his hands cradling his chin.

Raven sighed. "Are you guys doing this to guilt me into going?"

"Mmmmmaybe..." offered Cyborg, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Shaking her head, she caved. "Fine. I'll go." Her response was met with cheers. "**_But!_** No comments on whatever costume I pick out. _None_!" She gestured with an outstretched hand to show she was serious.

"You don't have a costume?" coughed Beast Boy, almost choking.

The sorceress blinked. "Um, I kinda just chose to go at this very moment."

"Still... you... you... you shoulda been prepared. Dude! What are you going to do?"

Raven shrugged. "I don't know. It's not that important."

"NOT IMPORTANT!" The shapeshifter clutched his chest and faked having a heart attack. "Not... not important! The Halloween costume is one of the most important choices a teen will ever make. It's the one time of the year that we're allowed to just go crazy and dress up in weird clothes."

Raven blinked yet again. "Beast Boy..."

"Yeah?"

"We're superheroes. We wear weird clothes every day."

The green teen blushed. "That's... that's different."

The red-headed Tamaranian patted her shapeshifting friend on the shoulder. "Do not worry, friend Beast Boy. I have taken it upon myself to aid Raven in her quest to locate an appropriate costume!"

Raven raised an eyebrow warily. "Since when?"

"I have just decided it now. I will meet you at midday. Sharp!" Starfire beamed, standing up and removing her plates. Placing them in the sink, she strolled out of the room humming to herself.

Raven looked at the boys, who just stared back and shrugged. "Oooooookay." she sighed.

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Beast Boy had never looked more serious in his life. "Tell me what you're going as!" he demanded, flinging a chair across the room.

The metallic hybrid exploded in response. "No! You tell me first!" His sonic cannon blasted the chair to pieces.

Beast Boy remained defiant to the end. "Never!" He morphed into a bear and lunged at the metallic hybrid. Cy grabbed his ursine foe into a headlock and the two began to wrestle.

The Titans' leader poked his head into the room, clearly displeased. "GUYS! You're giving me a massive migraine! What's the big deal?" The duo sheepishly disentangled, stepping away from one another as B.B. reverted to his natural form.

Beast Boy began to wave his arms, stepping towards his leader. "What's the big deal? What's the big deal, he says! I'll tell you what the big deal is... Flashback with me now to two years ago... my first invitation to this party. I strolled into the room dressed to the nines as the greatest pirate since... Bluebeard, or whatever his name was. The one, the only... Captain Jack Sparrow! And I looked damn good, I might add."

Robin put a hand to his chin. "I'll bet you did. So what happened next?"

Cyborg piped up. "I walked in with a _better_ costume of Jack Sparrow, and won second place in the costume contest."

Hearing those words, Beast Boy looked like he was about to pop. "It's _Captain_ Jack Sparrow! That should have been _my_ second place! He totally ripped off my costume idea!"

Cy rolled his eyes. "Dude, how could I have done that? I didn't know you were gonna be _Captain _Jack Sparrow, too."

"Yeah, but I'd been watching that movie every day for three weeks leading up to Halloween. You should have guessed."

"Forgive me for not being able to read minds."

Beast Boy pointed another accusing finger in the metallic Titan's direction. "Well, explain _last_ year when I went as Edward Scissorhands, and you did too!"

"I wasn't Edward Scissorhands! I was Eric Draven from The Crow! I can't help it if I was wearing duct tape and leather and I happen to have metallic hands. Third place quality metal hands, I might add." Cyborg smiled at his last dig, wiggling his fingers as the changeling continued to seethe.

"That should have been _my_ third place! I can't help it if I'm organic!"

The Boy Wonder sighed. "Guys, guys, guys... Geez. Why don't you guys figure out some way to ensure that nobody goes out with the same costume. Look, I'll even tell you what _I'm_ going as so you don't think I'm ripping you off."

B.B. and Cy looked at each other. "That's not necessary." explained Cyborg.

"Yeah."

Robin's brow furrowed. "What? Why not?"

"Because you always pick something lame to go as." Cyborg stated matter-of-factly.

Wincing, their leader looked hurt. "Lame? Lame! Last year I went as John Quincy Adams!"

Beast Boy scoffed. "Pffft. Laaaaaame."

"He was the sixth president, and son of one of the fathers of our nation, John Adams. He was Secretary of--"

"Booooooooring!" interjected Cyborg.

Sputtering, Robin continued. "Well, the year before that, I went as..."

Beast Boy rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "Some guy in a dress none of us had ever heard of."

"I went as Roman Emperor Claudius. He was probably assassinated, and..."

"Did he bore people to death in the Colosseum?" Beast Boy interrupted, trying not to laugh.

"Maybe instead of feeding them to the lions, he made Christians do complex mathematical equations." added Cyborg, laughing openly now.

Beast Boy snickered. "Dude! I bet he had gladiators recite insulting poetry to each other until one was so humiliated he ran himself through on a sword!" The two slapped each other on the back, howling by now.

Robin threw up his hands in disgust. "Fine. Whatever. This year, I will have a guaranteed cool costume!"

Beast Boy kept laughing. "Yeah."

"Sure." furthered Cyborg, unconvinced.

"I don't care if you don't believe me. And if you guys don't stop bugging each other and figure something out... I'll _assign_ costumes for you."

Fear overcame the duo. "You wouldn't..." spat the metallic hybrid.

"No!" Beast Boy clutched his face in agony.

A faraway look appeared in Robin's eyes. He began eyeing his two friends as if they were mannequins. "I can see Beast Boy as Clarence Darrow, the world-famous lawyer. And Cyborg would be a great Cyrus Vance, Secretary of State under President Carter."

The two teen's eyes grew as wide as saucers. Terror filled in the gaps of their faces. Robin couldn't help but smile at their reaction. He was surprised they weren't shaking and holding each other like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo used to do.

"Okay! Okay! We'll be good." they blurted together, surrendering.

"Excellent. Now settle your differences." The Boy Wonder pointed at both of them before he turned on his heels and stepped out of the room. The two friends looked at each other,silent at first.

"Soooo... who're you going as?" asked Cyborg, trying to be nonchalant.

Beast Boy folded his arms against his chest. "Not telling." He jabbed his nose in the air.

"C'mon man, you heard Robin."

"Well, at least if _he_ assigns us costumes, I won't have to worry about you stealing it."

"You know you don't want this just as much as I do."

B.B. shook his head, uncomfortable. "Yeah, yeah... you're right. I don't. Okay, tell you what... I'll ask you one question which will determine instantly whether or not you're going to rip me off."

His friend shrugged. "Okay, sounds good. Shoot."

"Is your costume Johnny Depp-related?"

"No. No it is not." Cyborg paused and gave Beast Boy an odd look. "You're going as another Depp character? You sure have a hard-on for Depp."

The changeling scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "Excuse me? You're the one who ripped _me_ off for two years in a row!"

The hybrid waved the accusation away. "I happened to pick the same costume as you. And it only happened once."

"Whatever. I still say you ripped off Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Yeah, and I have the trophy to prove it." He gave Beast Boy a condescending grin, sending the shapeshifter into yet another rage.

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Standing in the middle of the food court, Starfire looked like an animal completely within her element. Like a fish to water, like a bird to air, Starfire looked as if she had been born here, completed her rite of passage, and would remain ruler of this domain until she died, most likely somewhere between the movie theatre and the Gap.

Raven, however, looked (and felt) much like a stranger in a strange land. Like throwing a yuppie into the middle of a punk rock mosh pit, Raven stood examining her surroundings as if they were toxic to even be in the presence of them.

Sighing, the empath turned to her friend. "Explain to me again why we've bothered to come here for a costume?"

"Well, if you are looking for an excellent costume in a short period of time, you need look no further than the mall! I purchased my costume here last year, and I remember getting a lot of positive reactions. Green Arrow said I looked great, and made a comment about my having a pleasant donkey. I had to explain to him that I had come as a servant and cleaner, not a muleskinner."

Raven sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Star, I hate to break it to you, but you weren't a servant and cleaner... you came in a French Maid costume that bordered on lingerie. That's why everybody liked it. Every _male_, anyway."

Starfire looked perplexed. "The people from France have more attractive maids than the rest of the world?"

The cloaked teen shook her head. "Nevermind. Not important right now. Can we just get this over with?"

Star still looked dumbfounded, but nodded slowly. They walked into a nearby store.

An elderly lady wearing too much makeup greeted them quickly, popping up in front of them almost out of nowhere. "Can I help you?"

Although the gothic girl looked startled at the woman's sudden arrival, the alien seemed to take it in stride. "My friend is wishing to acquire a costume for this evening's festival!" declared Starfire.

The elderly lady looked at Starfire long and hard before switching her gaze to Raven. She looked them both up and down for several minutes in complete silence.

"Well?" blurted Raven, impatient.

The lady jumped, startled by her response. "You... aren't you wearing costumes?" She asked, somewhat disturbed.

Starfire giggled. "Oh, no, no. We always dress like this." She explained.

The elderly lady nodded. "I see. Well, uh, costumes are way in the back. You're kinda late, though. There isn't much left."

"Thank you!" cried Starfire before dragging the mortified Raven by the forearm to the very back of the store. The lady hadn't lied. Almost everything was gone.

"So what do you wish to be, friend? A witch?" She held up a plastic package with black cloth inside.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Some might say I already am a witch. Let's try something a bit more... out of character."

"That is the ghost!" declared the red-haired alien, tossing the package over her shoulder.

"Spirit, Star. That's the spirit."

"Oh." The Tamaranian mumbled absently as she picked up a second plastic package. "How about this? A nurse! You _are_ an excellent healer..."

"Uhhh... That's not an ordinary nurse."

"How so?"

"Well, most of them don't dress like that anymore. A leather top cut that low at the neckline isn't professional. And I would feel completely naked wearing it as a result. To say nothing of the fact that the whole thing seems to end right above the crotch." Raven shuddered. "Why do you think I wear the cloak? Remember that time we were stuck inside those television shows because of Control Freak, and Beast Boy stole my cloak to do some weird impression? I could have gouged his eyes out over that."

Star nodded, tossing the package over her shoulder again. "There must be something here for you. A fairy?"

"I'm not Tinkerbell."

"Police officer?"

"That costume is almost identical to the nurse except for the colouring."

"Princess?"

The sorceress paused in thought. "I don't know if I'd make a good cartoon princess. I don't think my voice would be fitting." She said finally.

"Here's a good one! This large green thing would be an excellent costume, don't you think?" she held up another lump of plastic and cloth before Raven's eyes..

The empath sighed. "That's a costume of J'onn J'onzz. The Martian Manhunter?"

Starfire shrugged. "This is a problem?"

"Well, not totally. But isn't it kind of odd to go to a costume party dressed as somebody who'll most likely be there? What if I went to the party dressed as you?"

A suspicious gleam appeared in Starfire's eyes, and her smile broadened.

The gothic Titan shook her head violently. "No. Oh, no. Forget it!"

"Friend Raven! What if we went as each other?"

"No! We've done that before, remember? The whole switching-bodies thing?"

"Yes, yes... but this would be completely voluntary! And we would only be switching our garb! Would not that be fantastic?"

"Star... you're a good friend, and I love you. Really. Honestly. But I hate lavender. I mean absolutely no offense when I say that. And I can't wear a skirt. Or your top. I can't go as you. And I don't think you could even fit into one of my leotards..." Raven droned on, her voice picking up speed as she tried to quell this notion.

Star pouted. "I still think it would be a great idea..."

Raven smiled, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "It's a different idea, Star, that's for sure. Tell you what. If I can't figure something out by the time it's ten minutes to leave, we'll go as each other."

Star nodded vigorously.

"Good. Now, until then, let's keep looking."

Starfire grabbed another package and held it up. "Excellent, how about..."

Raven shook her head empathtically yet again. "I'm not going as Sailor Moon."

"Why not?"

"I want out of character, not _drastically_ out of character. What's next, Hello Kitty?"

"Well..."

"No."

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Cyborg paced around the main room, directly in front of the TV, occasionally checking the clock on the wall. Shaking his head, he cursed under his breath. "Where are they? I'm ready, dammit!" He raised his plastic toy shotgun over his leather-clad shoulder. Putting his sunglasses on, he gave his reflection a grin in a nearby window.

"Admiring yourself, Cyborg?" came Robin's mocking voice. Cy turned around, preparing to return the derision. He stopped once he was put in awe of Robin's costume.

"Damn, Boy Wonder. Very impressive! I must confess, I was expecting another boring costume. But this takes the cake." Cyborg began to clap. Robin stood dressed impeccably as a samurai. His helmet gleamed in the light of the room. He held his armoured right hand carefully over his katana. Pleased, he bowed. The larger teen stopped clapping and whistled in admiration as he stood back up.

"Thanks Cyborg. I like your costume. You're a biker, right?"

Cyborg shook his head in disbelief. "Well, I know it's biker dress, but I'm not _strictly_ a biker." He changed his voice to sound vaguely Germanic. "Yahr clodes. Gib dem tew mee." Robin stood looking nonplussed and his friend sighed. "I'm the T-800 from Terminator 2!" Again his leader stood silent. The metallic hybrid thrust his arms out for emphasis. "Judgment Day! Arnold Schwarzenegger's shining moment?"

Robin nodded, looking not to offend. "Oh... cool. I don't think I'm seen that movie..."

"Obviously not!" came an obnoxious voice from behind the duo. Robin turned to face the in coming Beast Boy and gave him a very perplexed look. "What... what are you?" he demanded.

Beast Boy's jaw dropped. "Dude!" he cried. He straightened his top hat with his cane, standing rigidly straight in his purple velvet suit, posing. When Robin still seemed clueless, to he turned the leather-clad hybrid. "Cyborg... a little help?"

"Willy Wonka."

"Damn straight!"

"Right on. That was my second guess. It was either that, or Austin Powers and Alex from A Clockwork Orange had a baby. You just need a bowler instead of a top hat."

"I gotta admit, I was almost convinced you were a pimp." confessed Robin, scratching the back of his head.

Beast Boy rolled his eyes, then examined his two comrades. "Now let me guess..." He pointed at his leader. "A samurai, duh..."

Robin gave the affirmation.

Beast Boy gestured towards the massive teen in the corner. "And, of course, the T-800 from Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Schwarzenegger's best role ever. Nobody plays a killer robot from the future better than him."

Cyborg nodded. "I hear that!" he proclaimed. Stepping forward, the two friends high fived.

"So where are the girls?" offered Robin. The duo shrugged.

"From what I heard, Raven was still unsure of what to go as. She seemed really, really freaked out at that idea for some reason." said Cyborg.

"I guess she's taking this costume idea more seriously than she did this morning." added Robin.

"No. I'm not. It's just that Starfire upped the stakes a little." came a voice from the door. The trio turned and their eyes almost bulged out of their skulls. They stared in awe at the sight before them. The voice was familiar. The face in the creature's chest was definitely Raven's. But the body of the beast was foreign, alien, terrifying.

In the doorway in front of them stood a massive chicken.

Beast Boy bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "You're... you are going as... Let me get this straight..."

"Yes, Beast Boy. I'm going as a chicken. I made this decision consciously, and I am comfortable with it."

The trio erupted into laughter.

"Hehehehehe... Are you sure about that?" blurted Cyborg in between guffaws.

"Aaaaahahahaha! Hey, Raven! I think you dropped something!" choked Beast Boy, holding up a raw egg.

"Cute." she noted dryly.

The green lad laughed even harder. "BUAHAHAHAHA! Where did you get the material for that big bird anyway?"

"Mostly from that stuffed chicken you won for me at the Carnival." came the monotone reply.

Beast Boy's features grew serious. "Awwww... You kept that?"

"I guess I knew it would come in handy someday."

"Well, everybody's ready but Starfire. I wonder what she's going as?" Robin choked back tears from his laughter, slapping his hands together.

Raven shook her head. "Maybe she'll go as a 'servant and cleaner' again this year."

"What? Ohhh yeah... that naughty French maid..." offered Cyborg with a grin. Robin glared at him. Suddenly, they heard footsteps and braced themselves for another odd selection.

They were very surprised when Raven walked into the room again.

The face inside the chicken twitched. "Starfire! I told you, I had a costume! We're not going as each other!"

Starfire slouched. "I am sorry, friend Raven. But this was just too tempting a choice to pass up!" she swirled around, swishing her cloak to and fro as she spun.

"Did you stretch my leotard?"

"I did not ruin your garment, friend. You must relax." There was a brief pause as Starfire looked awkwardly at the ceiling. "I merely adjusted it so I would be better suited to wear it..."

Raven let out an exasperated sigh. "Starfire..."

Beast Boy piped up. "C'mon, Raven, leave her alone. It's Halloween. Don't lay an egg!" He exploded into a fit of laughter once again.

Raven's eyes glowed as a lash of black energy knocked Beast Boy's hat from his head.

"Darn. I missed." she mumbled as he returned his headgear to its rightful position, his hands shaking.

Robin checked his watch. "Let's go, guys. We don't want to keep the others waiting." He waved them along, and the group began to leave.

"Starfire, I'm not that mad. Really. But you owe me a new leotard." explained the gothic teen as they made their way to the garage.

"I will replace this one my body currently resides within. But can I keep it?"

"Why?" Raven asked suspiciously.

Starfire avoided the sorceress's gaze. "No reason in particular..."

Beast Boy jabbed Cyborg. "Best Halloween ever." he whispered, giving his friend the thumbs up.

"Hell yeah!" replied the metallic hybrid in a hushed tone, returning the gesture. He opened the door to the T-Car, and within seconds the group was on their way.

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A half an hour later, a shadowy figure made its way along the front lawn of Titans Tower. Creeping towards the building, cape billowing in the wind, the shape tried the front door. Finding it locked, its arms hammered on the door for several minutes until the portal was knocked to pieces and the figure entered. The creature made its way up the stairs to the main room. The light switch was triggered, and the room was suddenly illuminated.

There, in the middle of the room, stood Aqualad. Alone.

"Guys? Where are you? We were supposed to go to the party a half an hour ago!" he looked around and listened carefully. It suddenly dawned on him that they were gone.

"Dammit. This has happened the last two years!" he mumbled, shaking his head. Covering himself in the cape of his Superman costume, the teen from the deep made his way back outside.

"If they're gonna keep doing this, I'm not even gonna call them for New Year's."

**THE END!**


End file.
